Written by Kelly Johnstone
Parenting positivity books, I’ve read them all. The ones that tell you not to be down on yourself, that you’re being a “great mum” and that your kids love you no matter what.
Well, guess what? Sometimes, that perpetual feeling I have of being a bad mum isn’t going away for a very valid reason. And, no matter how much I repeat the mantra “you’ve got this”, the truth is, I actually don’t.
Now, I’m not saying I am failing in every aspect of being a mum, but there are certainly some areas where I feel improvements could be made.
So laying it on the line, here are five things I think I should be nailing, but quite frankly I’m doing anything but.
1. Being patient
I think of myself as a patient person. It takes a lot to push my buttons to the point of explosion. But, if anything is going to flip my switch, it’s the sound of my children whining. Sadly for me, this is a pretty regular occurrence. In fact, whining seems to have become the default voice of child two and child three and is like nails down a blackboard. Maybe they know. Maybe they like my reaction. Whatever the reason, it really does test my patience.
2. Pretend playing
When I was a little girl I loved playing imaginative games, plus I was really into drama at school, so you’d think that now I am a mum, I would be equipped with the necessary attributes for a spot of role play. But hearing my youngest ask: “will you play Miraculous with me?” before proceeding to outline the whole story, how events unfold and what my part in the plot needs to be, makes me shiver.
3. Multi-tasking
Three kids, two dogs, a full-time job, and a husband. I’m a woman, multi-tasking is in my make-up and, for the most part, I do all right. But when something comes along that totally disrupts my weekly routine, my palms sweat, my heart races, and my anxiety levels go through the roof. Wine is the only answer here.
4. School dress-up days
There are parts of parenting that sound fun but totally aren’t. School dress-up days top that list. As if getting the kids dressed, teeth brushed, hair done, bags packed, and out of the door wasn’t hard enough, to then have to dress them up as a rainbow fish is just beyond stressful. Particularly as I am usually told at supper the night before. I feel that I should be good at it, I am a creative person after all. But no, I suck. Thankfully for the kids, their nana is a whizz at knocking up a Gruffalo costume at short notice.
5. Baking
I wondered with this one whether I’m actually really bad at baking or whether I simply don’t have time – a majority of my family very kindly confirmed that it is in fact the former. I don’t know why I find it so difficult. I watch Bake Off, I have a Kitchen Aid and I use Betty Crocker cakes mixes but, despite my best efforts, even the dogs turn their noses up at my confectionary masterpieces. On a positive note, I have only ever been asked to contribute to the school bake sale once.
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